Stop Networking Like You're Trying to Sell Something

You know that feeling when someone slides into your DMs asking for a job before you've even exchanged pleasantries? Yeah, nobody likes that person. And yet, most job seekers approach networking like they're running out of time - desperate, transactional, and completely missing the point.

The truth is, networking isn't about collecting LinkedIn connections or working a room like you're on commission. It's about building genuine relationships with people in your field. Sounds cheesy, I know. But stick with me.

The Problem With "Networking"

Here's what most people get wrong: they treat networking like a checkbox on their job search to-do list. Send out 50 connection requests. Attend one conference. Boom, networking done. Then they wonder why nobody's calling them back about opportunities.

The issue is that real networking takes time. It requires you to actually care about the other person, not just what they can do for you. When you approach someone just because they work at a company you want to join, people can smell it from a mile away. It comes across as inauthentic, and honestly, it wastes everyone's time.

Start With Genuine Interest

Instead of thinking "How can I use this person?", flip it around. Ask yourself: "What do we have in common? What can I learn from them? Can I offer them something valuable?"

This shift in mindset changes everything. When you reach out to someone, mention something specific about their work. Did they write an article you found helpful? Attended the same conference? Work on projects you admire? Lead with that. Make it clear you're not just mass-messaging everyone with a pulse.

Real conversation starters look like: "I read your piece on remote work burnout and it completely changed how I think about my own job search" or "I noticed you're building tools for freelancers - I've been freelancing for two years and would love to hear how you got started."

See the difference? One feels like a human talking to another human. The other feels like a template.

Go Deeper Than Small Talk

Once you're actually talking to someone, don't immediately ask them to get you a job. Have an actual conversation. Ask about their journey, their challenges, what they're excited about now. Share a bit about yours too.

The magic happens in these real exchanges. When you talk to people authentically, they remember you. They think of you when opportunities come up. They want to help because you've shown genuine interest in them as a person, not just as a stepping stone.

Show Up Consistently

Networking isn't a one-time thing. It's not "I'll reach out to five people this week and then check it off my list." Real relationships develop over time. Reply to their posts occasionally. Share something relevant with them. Send a thoughtful message a few months later if something reminds you of them.

This consistency matters because it shows you're not just using them when you need something. You're genuinely interested in staying connected.

Where to Actually Network

You don't need to force yourself to attend every industry event (unless you actually want to). Networking happens everywhere:

• Online communities: Slack groups, Discord servers, Reddit communities related to your field

• Industry conferences: But go to learn, not to collect business cards

• Coffee chats: One-on-one conversations are way more valuable than networking events

• Your current job: Don't underestimate the people you already know

The key is showing up where your people already are and being genuine in those spaces.

The Payoff

Here's what happens when you network the right way: opportunities start coming to you. Not because you asked for them, but because people think of you when something relevant pops up. They introduce you to others. They vouch for you because they actually know your work and your character.

That's the kind of networking that actually moves your job search forward - not desperation, but genuine connection.

So the next time you're about to send that generic connection request, pause. Think about whether you'd actually want to have coffee with this person. If the answer is no, maybe they're not the right connection for you right now. Focus on building relationships with people you genuinely want to know.

The jobs will follow.